How to : Self-Esteem and Self-Love

On today’s post I would like to discuss self-esteem and self-love. Two qualities that I believe are so crucial in order to help live a happy life. Also, two qualities that I and I’m sure many others struggle with.

If you’re like me, you constantly and actually sub consciously tell yourself that you’re not worth this and that. You don’t deserve to be happy with your life or yourself. And the cycle just continues. It’s an ongoing struggle, day in day out, although some days are better than others. In this post I’ve listed some of the things that help me feel better, especially on those really horrid days!!

1.Ted Talks / TheHonestGuys Meditations

One thing that I find useful are either uplifting speeches or if I just want to have some relaxing time I will listen to a meditation which targets self-esteem / self-love. I highly recommend Ted Talks for uplifting and inspiring talks and TheHonestGuys who upload a variety of meditations, short and long. These can both be found on YouTube.

2. Stop Comparing

Yes, easier said than done I know. But if you sit and think about it, why would you compare yourself to anyone else that isn’t you? It just doesn’t make much sense. There’s a saying that the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday, and even if you find that it’s a bad comparison, tomorrow is another day to continue improving you!

3. Stop Seeking Approval

I find that this one is probably the most trickiest of them all. With our lives revolving around social media these days, we constantly post with the intention of seeking approval from our followers whether they’re friends or strangers. The truth is, everyone chooses what it is that they’d like their followers to see, so sometimes you don’t see their shit days when everything is going wrong because they’ve chosen not to show that to you.

Nonetheless this DOES NOT mean that they don’t get those days, weeks or even months, just like you and I do.

4. Starting a Self Care Routine

Self Care is so important in order to self love and give yourself that little bit of time just for you. It could be a long bath, exercising, painting your nails – whatever it is that you enjoy. Start off by just taking an hour each week to do that one thing for you, and who knows maybe you’ll be able to build this up in to your daily routine.

5. Writing It Down / Talking It Out

Sometimes it’s useful to just grab a piece of paper and write down everything that’s going on in your head, burn it, rip it up, whatever after, no one else has to see it. Talking to a friend or family member is also good to physically get those thoughts out, and maybe seek some advice or reassurance.

6. Accepting You For You

Another one, easier said than done. Look at yourself and all that you’ve achieved, all the things you’ve gotten through and worked for. And you’ve probably heard it a million times, but there is only one you! Therefore embrace you and all that you stand for. Don’t ever feel abnormal for having thoughts or possessing qualities that no one else has because at the end of the day that is what makes you, you!!! I can’t stress it enough.

7. Listening To a ‘Feel Good’ Playlist

This one is a personal preference that I’ve found useful to put on in the background that’s given me a little boost. I usually search for these on Spotify or YouTube but of course you could make your own filled with your favourite songs.

Note – these 7 things don’t instantly resolve everything (I am very aware of that), but they can definitely help on those crappy days. The important thing is to look after yourself, physically – yes, but also mentally, because our minds can come up with some of the most useless and negative thoughts about ourselves that we simply do not need.

So, ciao for now.

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Wellbeing writer, host for The Inspired Narrative podcast and mental health support worker.