How To Adjust When Life Is Hard

If you’re a follower of these posts, I’m sure you’ve noticed how positive Polly I try to be. Yesterday, I had this thought as I was daydreaming in the shower, how do I actually cope and deal with life when it doesn’t go my way and I feel like there’s no point?

My life completely changed 2 years and 5 months ago when I lost a very special and important person in my life. During that time I learnt and grew and matured the most than at any other point of my life. It definitely made me who I am today. Of course, I would give anything to have that person back in my life and for him to see me as I am today, but it’s funny because I don’t think I’d be me today if I hadn’t gone through all that grief and pain.

I’m not ‘over’ it. Sometimes I still miss him so much that it hurts, but instead of fighting how I feel I’ve learnt to accept and let the feelings come and go as they please. A lot of the time I can recognise why I get a sudden bout of sadness and this is mostly when people say or do things that remind me of him, or at special occasions or events in my life.

We can’t be positive Polly 24/7 (I’m sorry if your name is Polly and if this is offending you!!), life can throw all this crap at us and be really cruel sometimes and it does make you question a lot. We must realise that unfortunately, we can’t always solve a problem or change the situation, but we CAN make a difference in our own way.

During times like this, I’ve found that I automatically try and think of ways to make a problem or situation better. Whether it’s buying breakfast for someone who’s living on the streets, or posting cheesy tweets for anyone to see, I know that I’m not automatically solving those people’s problems, but for me, it’s better than being angry at the world and shutting myself away.

Sometimes it helps to find a reason as to why these things are happening. Although sometimes, there isn’t always a simple answer that we’d ideally want to hear, it can help us to understand why and how we can contribute to avoid them happening again.

Accept how you feel, feel angry, feel sad, let it be and don’t ignore it. Be the change you want to see in the world. Whatever that is, IT MATTERS.

No matter how painful this transformation, problem or situation is I promise you, you will get through it and it will eventually get easier to cope or deal with. Just like good times and happiness are temporary, so are the hard times. They won’t last forever and you will make it through.

Sometimes it helps to talk about or write these three questions down in regards to a problem or situation which is –

1. What is the problem/situation?

2. How is it making me feel?

3. Why is it making me feel like this?

I know it sounds like something you’d do in primary school, but honestly you’d be surprised at how much it benefits us to actually recognise our feelings and emotions. It helps us to feel more in tune with ourselves and understand what exactly is going on a bit better.

Hope this post has helped you in some way.

Ciao for now x

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Wellbeing writer, host for The Inspired Narrative podcast and mental health support worker.