I’d like to make this point clear – this is not an overnight process and wasn’t the case for me, in fact I get days where I go back to thinking like I used to and I struggle to stay ‘positive’.
One thing that has definitely helped are my routines. My morning and nightly routine enable me to feel a bit more in control – especially on the days where I feel most out of it – and allow me to have some quiet time (which tends to be much needed after a busy day). This also coincides with my need to make to-do lists and plan ahead when possible.
My to-do lists are ridiculous, but they work!! I write down every single thing I need to get done that day including showering, call me sad, but there’s nothing more satisfying and uplifting than crossing off a to-do on a to-do list, try it! This is exceptionally useful for those days when getting out of bed is a big enough task, congratulating yourself for the little things you get done that day really is so beneficial.
Not long after I was “diagnosed” shall we say, I started meditation and practising mindfulness. Again this takes time and practise but is so worth it. I’m pretty sure this has been one of the main helps in my ongoing journey. Mindfulness has enabled me to become more selfless and think about other people, their feelings or the things they’ve experienced before passing judgement, which is tricky for me because I like to instantly jump on the offensive train.
Acceptance, a HUGE part of moving forward with your life. I definitely have had to accept a lot of different parts in my life that I’d rather not accept or even acknowledge and this does take time. Through this I’ve had to learn to forgive myself but also deal with the consequences of my actions in the past.
Taking a minute at the end of each day (especially on the s**t ones) to think or write down at least 3 things I’m grateful for has helped me to realise, despite life sometimes being extremely hard to cope with sometimes, I still had some good. As crazy as that sounds, it does really open your eyes to the good you do have, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.
A cause of a lot of my suffering in the past was a lot to do with so-called failures. Through taking a CBT course – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – I learnt to congratulate myself on the tiny things I achieved whilst trying to achieve the big goal, rather than seeing the whole thing as a failure. CBT has really helped me see things in a different light and I would highly recommend.
I’ve slowly (still a work in progress) started to stop comparing myself to others. When I find myself doing this, I try to remind myself that ‘they’ aren’t me just like I am not ‘them’ so really, it’s quite ridiculous to be comparing myself to someone who isn’t me! It doesn’t make sense (yeah this is what I try and convince my brain each day!!).
This brings up another point of stopping the habit of seeking approval, whether online or through people I say day to day. Yes, I write these blog posts in order to try and help people, but I do it because I want to, not because I’m trying to prove myself to anybody else other than me. You should live your life for you, and only you. It’s your life and your choices, nobody else’s.
Like I’ve said above, this isn’t an overnight process. It takes time and the commitment to change in order to become a better you. I still have to work on myself every single day. I don’t wake up every single day excited and filled with joy, I have to continuously work on myself, I am nowhere near perfectand that is perfectly okay <3.
Ciao for now x