Not Good Enough

With University starting exactly a week tomorrow (eek), my nerves have been sky high. As per usual for my sensitive self, when a negative feeling arises my mind goes in to overdrive. If you hadn’t guessed already, today’s post is all about that horrible feeling of not being good enough.

I’m sure you can relate to me with this one. It’s something we all experience at least once if not more. I’m pretty sure even the likes of Will Smith have experienced not feeling good enough once upon a time.

The truth is, we’re very much conditioned to always seek flaws within ourselves. I mean it’d be an outrage to accept and actually like who we are right?

As much as I love it, social media has a lot to answer for here too. With Instagram full of toned tummies, muscles bigger than Everest, exotic locations, and so-called successful and happy lives, it’s hard NOT to sit and compare yourself.

No matter how much I try to make light of this, constantly believing we aren’t good enough is so damaging and an unhealthy place to live mentally. What purpose does it even serve? None at all, not to us and certainly not to anyone else.

All it succeeds in doing is making us feel awful about ourselves, wish we were as successful as this person or as likeable as that person and the list goes on.

So why DO we feel this way?

I’ve come to realise that change can play a part in this, when change takes us out of our comfort nest, our minds naturally start to panic. It tries its’ best to come up with excuses and such. Past rejections come to the surface in an attempt to show us why staying in our comfort zone would be a better idea. Don’t listen to that voice.

Events from the past or our childhood can impact the way we see ourselves.

When we’re in a negative mindset , it’s easy enough to kick ourselves whilst we’re down . So why wouldn’t we compare ourselves to everyone and point out our flaws like it’s yesterday’s rubbish waiting to be taken out?

How a person or group of people has/have made you feel through their actions or words. Please note that any malicious person is more than likely jealous of you. Pity them rather than take notice.

What we fail to see is how another person looks at us and wishes they were like us or had what we have. We fail to see others admiring our uniqueness. We fail to see others seeing us as the amazing and pure individuals we are.

We’ll never feel good enough if we don’t look at ourselves and start to appreciate what’s good about us, what makes us unique, special and bloody incredible!

You are who you are, and if you want to make changes, that’s okay but what’s important to remember is that you change for yourself and not for anybody else.

Life throws enough at us without us feeding hate and disgust to ourselves. You and I both deserve so much more than that in life.

So, I challenge you to sit down after reading this (or carry on sitting down if you’re sat..) and write down at least three things that you like about yourself. Rip the paper up, burn it, whatever – just write it down for you to see.

Ciao for now.

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Wellbeing writer, host for The Inspired Narrative podcast and mental health support worker.