Why Can't You Be As Good As Them?

Firstly, apologies to my friend Cerys who inspired this post after a 9 pm mini heart to heart we had… However, after she told me how she felt her work wasn’t as good as those in her class, I thought it was quite important for me to write about it.

In the blog posts prior to this one, I discussed the feeling of not being good enough. Nevertheless, today I want to discuss comparing ourselves to those around us. I want to discuss how we seem to see worth and greatness in others, yet failure and disaster in ourselves.

Somehow, it is the norm to search for ways to better ourselves by comparing ourselves to others. Despite this, each time we compare ourselves or our work to those around us, we don’t tend to get a motivation to get up and go but a low feeling of failure.

So why do we continuously search for the flaws in what we do and who we are?

It seems that, in this day and age, we struggle to accept a simple compliment without thinking there’s a hidden agenda behind it, let alone list one thing we like about ourselves.

Everybody else always seems to be doing better than us, they always seem to have it sussed. They simply can do no wrong, highly talented etc etc, why can’t we just be like that?

The truth is, and I’m sure you know this deep down. What we see isn’t always what is majority of the time. A harsh truth is that nobody, not even the most successful of people lead “perfect” lives, nor are they in any way perfect. Those with talent, work and work on it, day in, day out.

Who says you can’t better your skills and talents? You!! You are holding yourself back. You’re looking at others and without second thought, giving up because you think that they’re “better” than you. However, that’s never the case, I promise.

Once we gain confidence within what we do, whether it’s at work, school, or University, it’s unacceptable to actually feel and admit to feeling proud of yourself. The words cocky and arrogant instantly begin to flood your mind.

So who actually deemed this positive, kind attitude as unacceptable when it comes to ourselves? We did. Yep. Me, you, everybody. Somehow, somewhere along the line, we decided that it wasn’t okay to be proud of who we are or what we do.

We decided that we needed to be in a constant battle of comparing us to them. We decided, that, because we aren’t like him or her, we just can’t possibly be as good.

It’s draining to sit and look at what she or he are doing and wish we could hold ourselves as well as they do, or that we were as good as them. Yet what real evidence is there to say that you aren’t as good as them? None, really. Only yourself who says so.

Whilst we sit, and get stuck in our little muddled minds, we fail to see that others look at us with envy. Whether it’s how we look, what we’re skilled at or who we are as people, somebody wishes they were like that.

We fail to see that we’ll never learn to appreciate let alone love ourselves if we’re constantly looking over our shoulder, comparing ourselves to what we interpret as better than us.

Don’t get me wrong, there will always be room for improvement. Today is the best we’ve ever been but, tomorrow awaits endless possibilities.

However, as the saying goes, we, I repeat, WE are our ONLY competition.

There is simply no point comparing your successes and failures to anyone else’s when they, point blank are NOT and will never be you, ever.

Why would you sit and compare yourself to somebody else, if they aren’t you? It’d be like comparing a cat to a dog. How is it in any way a fair comparison? You are not them and they are not you and that is okay!! Why would you want to be anyone but yourself?

Please learn to look at yourself with love and kindness. Appreciate those around you, yes. Let them inspire and motivate you. Let them teach you what you need to know, but never compare yourself to anyone other than the you before today.

Ciao for now x

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Wellbeing writer, host for The Inspired Narrative podcast and mental health support worker.