2018 was a rollercoaster of a journey. On the one hand, I lost my three-legged (used to be four) best furry friend. On the other hand, I actually made a decision regarding my life and started University in September of this year. A very last-minute plan.
I must admit, my favourite parts of the year are both the beginning and the end. I thoroughly enjoy planning, envisioning and feeling hopeful about what’s to come. I also really love reflecting on the past 12 months. 12 months seems like such a short amount of time, yet so much can happen within each set of 3-4 weeks.
So what has 2018 taught me?
- Not Everyone Is Out To Get You
Sounds ridiculous, I know, but as a (once very) socially anxious person, this one came as a huge discovery for me. Can you believe that? Almost laughable!
Whilst I still struggle with human interaction from time to time, my hypnotherapist taught me that by approaching what scared me so much, could actually help make my fear go away, and so it did.
Once upon a time, I was terrified of unfamiliar faces, which is mad for me to think back on now. The interaction and thought of might cause my heart to race, but the girl who avoided people to avoid minuscule, potential rejection, is no more.
This year has brought many lovely people into my life. From Teachers and Teaching Assistants to fellow colleagues at a Tesco store. I’ve met many kind and hilarious people who, without knowing themselves, helped my initial social anxiety tonnes. Cheers to you all <3.
2. A Tidy Space Makes For a Calm Mind.
This one, of course, has been more or less common knowledge, long before I wrote it down on this blog post. However, it’s only this year that I’ve made a conscious effort to keep my space, aka bedroom, tidy and clean.
This has enabled my mind to have its own place to escape to, rather than feel trapped by an overwhelmingly messy room. Psychology Today wrote how a messy space can “make us feel scattered and anxious”.
3. Rejection Isn’t To Be Feared.
Starting up a blog at the end of last year was quite terrifying in the sense that I had to ‘put myself out there’. At least, that’s how it felt for a while, each post I put up made me feel as though I was waiting for life-changing news. What if people didn’t like what I’d written? What if, really, I’m completely pants at this anyway?
The fear of rejection is often worse than fear itself. As with most things, fear bigs up rejection to be the worst thing. If you’re rejected, you’re instantly branded a failure. Simple as that. Isn’t it?
Rejection by no means equates to failure. Rejection means that you’ve tried. However, that doesn’t mean that you should stop trying. Trial and error as they say. Fall down 7 times, get up 8, goes the saying.
4. The Only Person You Need To Please Is Yourself.
I feel as though a lot of us are guilty of putting efforts into pleasing others. In some ways, it can be helpful, a motivator if you will. Sometimes it can be draining, constantly trying to please others in order to feel good about yourself.
Admittedly, this lesson is still being taught to me, and most days, I have to remind myself that I don’t need to do it. I am enough as I am. Silly, isn’t it?
I’ve found that it’s sometimes difficult to differentiate between being a kind, decent human being and completely draining yourself in order to please another. The truth is, you never need to try to please those that truly matter. They like you just you are as your natural self.
5. Nobody Leads a Picture Perfect Life.
Another one I’m sure you look at and think “well obviously”. Instagram isn’t all it seems, much like life. This year has enabled me to look beyond my own issues and realise that, actually, many people around me experience similar if not the same, hurdles that I do. As many people around us are able to put their happy masks on, it’s even harder to notice the hard time somebody may be having.
Whilst I still have my moments, it’s enabled me to become a little less selfish. Life can put the best of us through the mill from time to time and it’s important to take a moment to realise that. If we were all just a little kinder and less judgemental about one another, we could have great positive, impacts on each other.
The world needs more kindness and less gossip. Consider what people are going through or have been through before coming to a first judgement.
Ciao for now x